Why is wrestling my fetish?

Comments (16)

guywhowrestles (0) 5 days ago

Great topic and questions you have raised about yourself and about others who love to wrestle, Azalku !! And with your questions there are probably 100 or more answers from 100 or more fellow wrestlers. Of course, wrestling in its many forms has been around for all of recorded history, so there is something about the competition between folks that has always captured human interest. I'm just going to put out a few thoughts and perhaps expand upon them or add other thoughts later or even answer questions if folks have any.

Firstly, of course, wrestling is an intense physical and mental sport. As with many sports, the experience of engaging in them brings a sort of satisfaction to the mind as well as the body, an escape, perhaps, for the mind from daily routines, and a demanding physical discipline of the body. None of that can be "bad" for any human able to so engage.

As to the nature of the erotic elements of wrestling, there are some quite obvious and some not-quite-so obvious aspects. Good wrestlers usually have well-toned, well disciplined bodies which are a pleasure to look at. The sight of two well-toned men locked together in competitive struggle appeals to us. And then there's the feel of wrestling another guy; it's ALSO pleasurable, even while there's momentary pain. Pain, of course, can be pleasurable; it's simply one "feedback mechanism" to the body, causing an action in response. Also, the sense of control (or lack of control) and stimulation from the body contact between two people brings a sense of mutual bonding from the struggle. As such, wrestling is very much a sensual experience, much as sex is a sensual as well as mental experience.

Since wrestling and sexuality are both sensual and mental experiences, I'd advise not going too too far in trying to draw lines or to confuse one's self with too much hyper-psychoanalysis. They are both simply human experiences and can be enjoyed as such. While wrestling is competitive in nature, it is also an expression of affection between two bodies, a sharing and a bonding, much like sexual activity most often is. In other words, it's just "human"..and should be enjoyed as such. Some folks get into it, some folks shy away from it entirely.

Lastly, in our modern world, there's lots of restrictions, warnings, myths and "wive's tales" about how two folks shouldn't be enjoying this aspect of our humanity. So we get all "hung up" on whether this is "good" or "bad", healthy or pathological. Those are the brakes society is placing upon our natural instincts, not really worthy of over analyzing. Just enjoy the reasonable, sane, physical and mental competition and affection you can have with fellow wrestling enthusiasts. Keep it simple, straightforward, candid and private. Revel in the life you can have enjoying the sport in whatever variety most entices you. Best wishes for a long healthy life of wrestling.

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hugefan (97 platinum) 5 days ago

(In reply to this)

Excellently put and proof that hot and wise are not mutually exclusive.

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barefootdude (0 gold) 9 days ago

i get off on it cause gettin naked and grindin against a smooth hott dude till u jizz is a good fucking way to cum. So wrestling with longhaired skinny boys is like fucking a girl only cock2cock is a way different thing.

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hugefan (97 platinum) 9 days ago

I'm not sure it's that complicated is it? Body contact, few clothes, skin on skin, muscle to muscle, a bit of sadism or masochism, the chance for a turn on without necessarily too much emotional attachment or full on sex. Wrestling is just sexy, I think men who don't get that should be in therapy ha ha. It's pretty harmless anyway apart from the risk of injury. So let's all be careful x

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grappling hooked (27 platinum) 10 days ago

I went through a year of therapy trying to figure out why I have this fetish.

The conclusion my therapist and I eventually came to, which may or may not be helpful to others, is this. When you have a strong, domineering parent (in my case, my mother) who is competitive and does not give an inch; who wins every conflict against you – and yet who is also the main source of love in your young life – as you get older, your sexuality can get tangled up in this need to conflict with and lose to an intimate opponent. I know it sounds cheesy to wrap this fetish up with one's mother (paging Dr. Freud!) but it really did make a lot of sense to me.

It didn't help me get rid of the fetish, of course, which was why I was going to therapy in the first place! But it did provide some interesting insight.

Your mileage, of course, may vary.

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SilverFoxFight (31 gold) 10 days ago

(In reply to this)

Yeah, I've had therapy too...was your motivation for going to therapy religious? Actually, neither the counseling nor a 12-step group that I went to for a while, help very much though everyone was sincere and quick to listen. The dominant person in our household growing up was my grandmother but, I doubt if she fits the Oedipus model that Freud presents. So I still don't know what to think. I've grown to accept the conflict, enjoy the wrestling/boxing when I can get it and set sexual boundaries, which some consider far too conservative while others consider far too liberal. I'm never quite comfortable in either world. Deano in Cincy

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grappling hooked (27 platinum) 10 days ago

(In reply to this)

Was definitely not religiously motivated. I'm an atheist. :-)

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SilverFoxFight (31 gold) 10 days ago

(In reply to this)

That is interesting because I used to belong to an internet support group of guys who struggled with same sex attraction but didn't consider themselves gay. One day, a new member asked if anyone did NOT have religious reasons for seeking "change." There was an overwhelming silence. It really got me thinking that religious indoctrination was a strong factor in my lifestyle choices.

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tonyfigur (3) 16 days ago

This is a topic that really interests me because I've never been attracted to wrestling but I get so tuned on by boxing. I've been attracted to boxing since I was a little boy and since puberty it has always turned me on. On the other hand, wrestling does nothing for me. I'd be interested in knowing why. Tony

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SilverFoxFight (31 gold) 16 days ago

Thanks for you post; I have done a great deal of soul searching over the last forty years about this issue (and more than once with the help of a counselor). Now, I went through puberty at a very late age (mid twenties) and that may have some bearing on my "obsession" with masculinity and fighting sports but, on the other hand, I recall being fascinated with wrestling and wrestlers at a very young age (6 or 7) in front of black and white television in the 1960's. It was all fantasy back then as I was a small and shy kid and never wrestled or boxed until I was into my forties or fifties, nor would my religious upbringing allow it.

Imagine my surprise to find, in the Internet world of the 1990's, that there were other guys with the same "issues" (and my best friend today is a fellow wrestler). Well, after all the thinking about it and the counseling (and being told by one religious therapist that I was basically "going to hell)," I really do not have any answers but to enjoy the positives of competition and male bonding and set boundaries for myself sexually. Most guys don't see an "issue" here and I guess that's okay; others are conflicted. I am glad that we can discuss this as men and hope we can continue to dialog. Yours, Deano

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Wrestleguy40 (3) 17 days ago

I'm in the same boat. I have always loved wrestling and get hard at the mention of it. I love having control of someone and watching them squirm and beg in my headscissors and I also love being controlled. I don't read to much into why, i just accept it as the most amazing gift ever. There are far worse sexual fetishes we could all have.

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Azalku (9 bronze) 16 days ago

(In reply to this)

I don’t think it is a bad fetish to have or that a particular fetish is ‘worse’ than any other. I was just wondering if my fetish might be telling me something about myself that I have yet to discover on a conscious level.
Could it be that I am trying to experience an emotional state that I have been utterly deprived of and desperate to experience?
If let’s say I would to bring two people with the same fetish (in my case, wrestling, headscissors, being controlled etc). Would this fetish Achieve the same desire for me as it does for you?
I read once that people who like to be abused show a trend of having pasts where they had to be in control, responsible in situations where they didn’t want to be or wern’t ready to be. Many had parents who would not stand for anything that they perceived as weakness. The result is creating a person who can withstand tons of pressure. Control and responsibility are an immense pressure. And by being overpowered and abused during wrestling and sexual role play, they get to loose control and with that Sense if control, the weight of responsibility gets lifted off their shoulders and is assumed by the dominant partner.
Now that is one theory I read that I feel somewhat applies to me but at the same time I feel it is contradictory as I like to be abused and be abusive and it would seem that explanations of what I am ‘seeking’ is contradictory.
Sorry to go off on a psychological tangent here, I am just thinking out loud and am wondering if anyone else might have dug a little deeper into why we have the fetishes that we do?

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Shapeshifter (6 silver) 17 days ago

Very interesting post! I can't add any insight into it unfortunately, I can only add that I'm the same, particularly if someone is being dominant with me in a match. For me it's not only the person being in control, but also them WANTING to be in control and enjoying what they're doing (if, for example, head scissoring). And wow, who wouldn't want to be a victim to cyclone74's legs? :D

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cyclone74 (18) 17 days ago

(In reply to this)

You could come into my headscissors anytime

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cyclone74 (18) 19 days ago

I can see why you liked Mark lander and his amazing scissor, I jack off to him also. It’s an interesting question, do we get off to the abuse or the pleasure of being in malls contact!! The scissors are my greatest turn on, using them and then turning to being squeezed in them. This close contact to a guys Crotch and his mighty power legs can’t get any more erotic. Coming from a legs man myself, the squeezing is the ultimate pleasure . I don’t understand why all gay men are not into it. If You used your amazing legs on me I go weak at the knees

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Azalku (9 bronze) 19 days ago

I’ve been trying to figure out why and how did wrestling and being controlled or in control of someone became my sexual fetish.
I’ve read online about being abused or being abusive as a fetish and that how being abused might relate to having too much stress and pressure on your shoulders during childhood and that you enjoy being abused because you are realizing all responsibility to another person and vice versa with being abusive ......,, however I enjoy both those things and therefore the explanations become contradictory.
I sometimes think it is more simple than that because I remember stumbling upon mark lander wrestling videos online at the age of 13 and started to always imagine wrestling and being controlled when jacking off so maybe it’s just because of that.
Anyway I’m curious to know if anyone else has tried to do some deep searching within to try to find out and explain why we have certain sexual fetoshes?

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