adamGrappler100's blog

Mixed wrestling - What is the female perspective?

From a male perspective, I think I understand the attraction of mixed wrestling. The erotic nature of the match certainly speaks volumes. I know for session wrestlers, financial considerations play a role, but I know this is not the whole story, because I have found they enjoy their work more than they would if they were doing this for finances alone. I remember my very first mixed session in London with a lady named Sonia. This was 17 years ago, was in my forties and she was thirty something. She was not strong and muscular looking, and I was in very good shape (and still in great shape), so I thought I could, if not take her down, at least win about half of the rounds. How could I be so wrong? Within seconds of the match starting she violently slammed me into the mat with a head scissors and for the next hour I was tapping out every two or three minutes with her taunting me the entire time. Once, and only once did I manage a body scissors and made her give in. The next day, every muscle in my body felt as though it had been dismembered by this 5’ 8” 140lb lady. The only thing that would have completed my humiliation would have been wrestling in front of an audience, but this first match has me addicted to intergender wrestling…. Since then I have had another 34 competitive mixed matches, with 14 women (having wrestled a number of women multiple times). I did not wind up nearly as sore as the first match with Sonia, but have to respect session wrestlers – they are strong, well trained, experienced and highly determined professional wrestlers that will defeat any untrained man unless the size and degree of muscularity becomes too lopsided. So what do ladies enjoy wrestling men? One lady said that when she wrestled for fun, she enjoyed humiliating boys, putting more than a few guys into headlocks to push their faces into her boobs. What do people think?

Last edited on 7/11/2018 7:35 PM by adamGrappler100

Comments (8)

celtwrestle (41 gold) 7/14/2018 4:28 PM

Sonia Fernandes was also one of my first female opponents. I even fought her in public at a London leisure centre during an event she organised. I asked for the match not to be filmed and changed into my Speedos. Her first submission was gained via a breast smother and legs split. Honest!
I read in an interview she said that yours truly (referred to as a “British guy”) was the only one who could resist her scissors.
She fell out big time with a promising blonde wrestler called Georgia (or Georgina). I think Sonia could be a ruthless businesswoman and proved that when she parted ways with promoters linked to Festelle.
As for a woman’s perspective, ideally they should reply. But i’d say a lot of the proficient sessionistas like to test their strength and skill while a lot of guys like to experience their own limitations.
An epic match that Sonia had was against her rival Sherry. There are still pics of the fight - which was in a ring - but she told me no video made. Sonia told me she lost her temper after Sherry trapped her neck between the ropes.
What a legend that lady is. Sherry was great too, but didn’t have Sonia’s charisma.


adamGrappler100 (0 bronze) 7/15/2018 9:50 AM

(In reply to this)

I recall Sonia's breast smothers very well, and also her groin smothers. She can completely block out all air with either technique and submission is inevitable. She also has a powerful figure4 leg lock, and her body scissors are tremendous. She told me she once cracked someones ribs in a body scissor, and because I have a light frame, I was careful to tap out. My single win against her was when I managed to get her in a body scissors applied against her lower ribs. I was doing all of the other tap outs. I also recall her school girl pin. Being trapped under her, I thought I could resist it all day long, and was even enjoying the view, until she closed her legs on the side of my face and started to apply pressure......


ukman65 (9 bronze) 7/14/2018 12:39 PM

I have never done a mixed session but did id once have a training session from a BJJ trained session wrestler. Very useful but totally non sexual- I'm straight BTW.

I do regularly attend Monica's female events at her matroom. The skill level of the wrestlers varies from raw amateur to very skilled BBJ trained women. I don't think they get paid much for the f vs f fights but they do seem to enjoy them and all are genuinely competitive, some intensely so. All the women I have chatted to over the years really do enjoy wrestling , including the men. Most have some sort of very physical background, dance, gymnastics , judo etc and rolling and wrestling is natural and fun for them. Monica keeps a very strict control on the bouts and any woman who turns silly or nasty gets un-invited fast. Despite , or maybe because of that the matches can be intense and are usually 3*6 minutes which requires good stamina.

Interestingly most of the wrestlers are into their late 20's or 30's so it's not a teen game thing.

I always remember the first women's event I saw. The organising woman had made the food herself and one wrestler brought her very small baby along, far too young to know what was happening but very cute. So ,as women do, another women did the "coo'ing " thing very sweetly with the usual nice comments. . Then she faced of against the mother and choked the hell out of her as often as she could. I decided then that even in wrestling there is Mars and Venus.

It is another discussion but on the technical side the very different geometry of women's hips and waists means scissors are not just a control hold as often in m vs m but a very effective submission move.


adamGrappler100 (0 bronze) 7/15/2018 9:56 AM

(In reply to this)

I wrestled Monica a couple of times, a few years after Sonia. I found her slightly easier than Sonia, possibly because I had increased my abilities, or because the match was designated semi-competitive rather than competitive. Monica is also a very skilled and tough wrestler. and it would be interesting to see a fvf bout between them.


Greekprofantasy (25) 7/14/2018 5:36 AM

There's a major difference between wrestling a professional athlete and amateur. Women tend to be extremely competitive in everything. During my martial arts years I have women half my size and my experience trying to apply holds like crazy. That tends to be dangerous for both of us. In general I tried to show them that yes it's good to fight back against a guy double your size since that thing can happen in real life but put your mind at work first.

Session wrestlers on the other side are either usually highly experienced wrestlers or super buffed bodybuilders or God forbid both! Keep in mind they do that for money so their enjoyment is something questionable. How much do we enjoy our jobs after all?

I don't have extensive experience with session wrestlers, maybe a dozen bouts. But on general discussion with them they seem to enjoy more going against an experienced opponent. It's safer for them plus its more challenging. I admit that only once the act of wrestling end up in sex and that was something the lady asked from me in the end. Like with all people I respect limits so I was pleasantly surprised by her request.


Sparrhawk (6) 7/12/2018 12:02 AM

I've only grappled with women in a martial arts class, and it wasn't fun. The woman I grappled had a chip on her shoulder and wanted to prove that she could fight as well as a man. She planned to use me as the proof! Imagine being in a room with other dudes you hope to impress and the girl calls you out to be her example of how well she can fight.

I think she chose to grapple me since I'm a short guy, and this put a target on my back. I was a new student with less than two months experience while she had been in class for a year.

When we started, she easily took my back and tried to apply a rear naked choke. However, I was able to pry her arms off my neck. In fact, it was so easy for me to wrench her arms apart that it surprised me. I'm not the strongest guy in the world, but this woman's strength was negligible compared to mine, like that of a child.

At that point– with me holding her arms apart as she tried and failed to pull them free–she complained to the instructor that I was relying on strength to prevent her from choking me rather than technique. What was I supposed to do, let her choke me? Everyone knows the defense is to pull an arm down to prevent the constriction. Anyway, the instructor separated us, but I could tell the woman was annoyed.

Personally, I don't get the same enjoyment from grappling with women. A huge part of the fun is pitting my strength and skill against another man. With women, it feels like a catch 22. Beating a woman doesn't give me a reason to celebrate and losing to one would be a humbling experience too. It feels as if there's nothing for the ego to gain.

But to answer your question, in my experience some women are out to "prove" that they are as tough as men.


celtwrestle (41 gold) 7/14/2018 4:37 PM

(In reply to this)

I guess she was a keen but inexperienced white belt. Had she been an experienced white belt or was a blue or higher she would have used your strength against you to gain a submission. That she seemed to lose her cool also shows she wasn’t experienced. Good on her for getting your back though.


adamGrappler100 (0 bronze) 7/12/2018 7:51 AM

(In reply to this)

An interesting observation Sparrhawk. It reminds me of a similar experience in a self defense class many years ago. We were practicing a technique to disarm an opponent and I was paired with a lady. She could not remove the piece of tubing I was holding because she was not applying enough force. In another situation, another lady actually started grappling with the instructor during a demonstration, and surprisingly, came close to take him down. I've never really grappled with a nonprofessional female wrestler, and would agree that men grappling with untrained women would not be much of thrill. However, most of the professional women that I have wrestled are muscled, and have a weight advantage over me, in addition to vastly greater experience and training. I certainly don't feel any humiliation getting beaten by them. and get a real turn on from it. The most humiliating experience, I suppose, was getting beaten by a Russian lady who was 40 lbs lighter than me, but highly trained in judo and a very experienced session wrestler. I enjoyed wrestler her several times because my weight advantage made the match somewhat more competitive. It was also the only match I've ever had where I screamed in pain. I've been in many painful holds, but she snapped a hammerlock on me so suddenly when I was face down on the canvass, bending my arm high up my back into my shoulder blades, that I could not help letting out a yelp. She clearly showed the importance of training and experience over size, and she ended the match with a reverse face sit, straddling my neck, pinning my arms, and giving me a few humiliating face slaps for good measure. If she had something to prove, I think she successfully proved it. We have wrestled several times and would take her on again anytime.