Why do so many of you hate me? Have i done something so evil that I get 0 emails now? I like erotic wrestling, i like singlets, i like chokes. Yet I cannot even see hot videos posted on here because the guys posting them block me now. It is sad really. I spent a long time learning the sport on my own. I spent a long time becoming a legit athlete and all so i could find an attractive young looking guy like myself to share my kinks and my my life with. I never asked for much. I dont want money or fame. Just 1 or 2 friends and love.
But i am blocked at every corner. Guys just spread their hatred of me. They tell people lies about me and yet the reality is, i have never cheated on anyone, robbed anyone, or treated anyone like filth (guys here who you idolize have done it to me and you excuse it).
I dunno why the hate is so rampant towards me and not just on this site. But we all deserve a chance at love and to enjoy fun times with guys we are into. Why then do so many of you (especially older men) prevent me from enjoying the things you do? This is bullying to an extreme degree. Ostracizing someone none of you really know. And you wont even read this blog. Those who do will inevitably call me a drama queen or some other pejorative term.
But what else can i do? Im isolated and alone and i have done nothing to deserve the amount of vituperation i receive. Im not angel but the punishment does not fit the crime. My real life actions speak volumes. I help so many people young and old....but my reputation has been made to look as foul as hitler's. I might as well BE him.
So someone answer me: is this right? because if i do truly deserve it, and your explanation proves this to be so, I will be happy to delete my profile and disappear for good.
I don't know guys. I just spent 2 weeks in chicago, 1 week in connecticut, and a day in philadelphia. I gave fair warning by using the calendar function of this site and no one i would be interested in met me or contacted me. Am I that ugly and unpopular here? Has bgeast and ucw wrestling really blacklisted me because I speak my mind and am not a twink drone? I mean seriously, if it wasnt because I actually compete and train, my travels would have been a waste of time and money but thankfully I made more "bonds" with str8 people and wrestlers than i have done so here.
Many of you young hot dudes, particularly in the US, are just impossible. You prefer payment, being in videos for old men, and popularity than actually meeting guys who are well worth your time. Guys who could teach you wrestling, treat you right without the need to get you to sign contracts to work for them. Yeah, i get that I am not famous. I also get that I am hugely unpopular with the puppet masters of these sites, so they tend to tell you to stay away from me and that is sad really.
To you older men and guys who downright loathe me without even knowing me personally i say this. WE ALL DESERVE a CHANCE. A chance to fufill our fantasies or meet guys like us, make friends and find dates. Keeping someone from that is disgusting and speaks volumes about your own ammoral and petty personalities. You are all so self centered , hateful, spiteful and so involved in your cliques, that in the end, awesome sites like these just becomes an endless gaggle of vapid gay guys who dont even really know how to wrestle but want to constantly recruit instead of befriend.
A whole summer and only emails i got were motifications about new photos and few replies. Emails came from guys in europe who i am sad to say i just cannot afford to travel to. Older pit of shape men, i apologize too but you aren't what i want. Plain and simple and you have to stop reprimanding me or being rude to me or telling me what i should or shouldnt settle for. I know we arent young and cute forever, but it is funny that right now, i am still 1 of a very very small handful of guys who wrestles and competes and instead of being able to find guys to relate to, i am stuck writing blogs full of frustration. I dont know if you will all be happy when i am gone, or get hurt so badly i cant compete anymore, or whether you will praise the day when im too old and physically incapable of wrestling but this summer has certaibly shown me, just how little my efforts for bonding with gay guys has paid off.
Just thought I'd share how lucky I am to have found my own way in this sport without the use of apps or websites. While it is impossible to meet any sort of cute guy for dating or wrestling or even spandex fun, it only took me a few years of competing on my own and showing area coaches that even as a no name adult, i had something to offer in the practice room.
From California to NY, I have gotten to know some incredible and accepting coaches that have seen my potential as an athlete at gyms I could train and improve my skills in. Unlike BJJ and mma which has become popular in these gay circles and are easy to join as an adult and even as a gay male without issue, wrestling is a tough sell. Unless you are willing to commit and do what is necessary to show you have the desire and work ethic.
I may be a monster to many of you, and I am sure one major reason much of my time has been wasted on here is because of what people who dont know me tell you. I myself have not been the nicest of people but have tried to be honest with who i want and what i look for. I am an enemy to bgeast and ucw wrestling because they couldnt have me, or in some cases, didnt want me because I dont take orders. I dont wrestle in speedos and many times wouldnt accept wrestling the less attractive and older members of their video club.
Nevertheless, while many of you have a foul view of me, it never stopped me from competing or training or fighting many stigmas, including fighting the hurt and psychological pain that false accusations of child molestation will do to a person. No, sorry, i am gay, not a pedophile, and I have plenty of proof to how amazing I am as both a training partner and mentor to many wrestlers of all ages. The awful things that have been said by and the catty attitudes many of the gay wrestling clubs around the US have towards me are unwarranted, considering I would bring my knowledge and experience to all the little tournaments they had without asking for payment or recognition. Goes to show how ungrateful and petty the gay community is.
But in the end, here i am, doing another wrestling camp, 3 wrestling sessions a day 5 days a week to become a better athlete and better person (2 weeks this time around). The wrestlers adore me, the coaches accept me for all that I am, and I now bring quality tumbling to those who train there. I am the unofficial official body control advisor (tumbling coach). I am being trained by some of the best in the world and happy that, while so many here dream and fantasize about or worry about being old or out of shape or too gay to compete and train in this sport, I am still doing it. I am as real as they come, the dream gay wrestler so many here say they want, that just happens not to be the cute 18 yr old white looking american clone everyone really wants.
I may not be worth your time or money or trip to my city (cant give you access to hot men, cant give you free things like those bgeast sites out there, or pay for everything for your hotness) , but i am certainly worth a lot more than many of you are giving me credit for and that is your loss. I will be back to my 6 am to 8pm wrestling day while most will still be here "looking to meet" for "competitive matches."
To those who are genuine: keep focusing on your goals and dont let your age or shape or sexuality keep you from gyms and coaches. Take the step towards doing tournaments and see just how much fun you can really have.
It is a shame that so many sites and apps are no longer very useful for meeting, especially now that their novelty has worn off. Basically gay men are using them more of entertainment rather than socializing or dating as they were originally intended. There are already a few blogs and online articles about this phenomenon but here on this site there is an extra hiccup: gay wrestling video websites.
I have nothing against the websites as long as the owners are not using their power to prevent others from meeting or dont use their power to be jerks to people they dont like. But sadly that's what they do. And it hurts many of our chances to meet new young looking attractive men on these sites because as soon as they sign up, they are messaged by these video sites to work for them and they get incentives like free flights and travel, money, meeting other gorgeous men. Later they get used to this and become less interested in meeting those of us who cannot provide them the same riches.
I dont know if this is a problem in the UK yet but it is a huge problem here in the US and it is a shame. The video sites take the prime clay, mold it to what they want and keep it all to themselves. Doesnt mean the video site owners sexually do anything to the guys but they certainly keep them from meeting outside their growing sphere of influence, leaving us "deplorable" guys (for lack of a better word) nothing to meet.
So i apeak to you video site owners: why must you do that? Is it for the money? Do you like spiting other gay guys you dont like or are you all trying to see who can have the biggest collection of studs? Do you really need to prevent your gay wrestlers from meeting people who arent your idea of hot or your friends or part of your circle? I think it is kind of a bully move and instead of promoting wrestling (albeit fake wrestling mostly) you just hurt sites like these from becoming amazing meetup sites again. Don't let meetfighters become a novelty like other apps. Don't let it become just another place where gay guys can play games without the fear of ever meeting. I like meetfighters. If i didn't i wouldn't have blogged about this at all.
Always been amused at gay guys in general. I thought about writiing a long story as to why i started wrestling, in order to inspire, but instead im just going to talk about how disappointed i am at the fact that I have spent so much time becoming an athlete in perhaps one of the hardest (most homphobic) sports around only to find out that it takes money or being with popular "fake" wrestling personalities to get anyone i am attracted to to consider coming to meet and wrestle with me. I worked hard for my body as well as to get the skills of a legit wrestler and for what?
People here talk talk talk about fantasies and how they want a real wrestler to pin or date or have erotic fun with, but here i am (a self made real competetive, striving to be, olympic level wrestler) and im treated like I dont exist...a complete nobody. Yes I am very vocal and sometimes have no filter but I know there are guys on here who will treat you all like crap and not even consider helping pay for anything, not recommend you or act like you matter, and you all would rather meet them over me because they're hot and white usually (this pertains mostly to the American under 35 yr old gay guys)
You guys arent looking for a wrestler, you are looking for the typical white 16 yr old looking muscle twinks that may look like a wrestler even if they're super effeminate or more about being ballerinas than grapplers. You want a bgeast actor or a wannabe fighter who really has absolutely no skill. Dont get me wrong plenty of men, usually older men (35+) have actual skill on here and are attractive by anyone's standard but these are few and far between. And dont get me started on the fact that when i mention i am into erotic many of you are "only" about competetive, but then i mention i can be competetive and you tell me that your too intimidated by my skills. So which is it guys? Any answer I give would be the wrong answer. And this isnt about my location because there are guys who are hot as hell but live in east bejesus corn country and they have plenty of men meeting them. It isnt about my attitude because as i mentioned above, there are tons of guys on here who will treat you like scum but who you would forgive and meet in a heartbeat.
Arent you all sick of the games? I traveled to places like chicago, miami, philadelphia, montreal, and california....a few times and even stayed a month in some places and instead of guys showing up or wanting to meet or being able to host, i got "out of town" and "busy" replies, even with months in advance of warning. Then id come back to Albany NY and those same guys message me that they just got back from albany and would like to meet in california or chicago or whatever. REEAALLY? This happens more often than you think and I am not making this up.
I have put myself in debt in order to bond with some of you, but yet i am considered a very bad person here. Maybe i am a bad person for having opinions. I am a jerk because i know what type of guy i want to meet or date and it doesnt include old looking men. Old LOOKING. Not old. Plenty of older men i'd be all over on here, but theyre taken or not intereated. And yes I am tired of out of shape old looking guys hitting on me incessantly and then freaking out at me because i am not into them or shady men who have no face pics and troll on these sites with the same 30 yr old photo of god knows who. You know who you are and honestly you guys shouldnt be getting upset at me for calling you out when you BOTHER me first.
Yes we all want what we want and we all have a need to find friendships, dates, love, erotic and competetive wrestling. Sadly some of us dont get this opportunity. A lot has to do with the guys above bad mouthinf me for rejecting them. Which is amusing because if they met me they wont say anything nice to those same people about me either. Damned if i do damned if i dont. I have the competetive wrestling down but am still willing to give that to guys here. I am however sick of putting what i lioe and want aside just so you guys can bad mouth me or not even recommend me to your cute friends. I have helped a few people meet using this site (though they wont admit that.) I make a loyal friend. I make an amazing and patient bf. And i am an athlete. A real one. Not an ex one yet. I will never get why I am stuck writing blogs of dismay and disappointment. No one is perfect, lord knows im not but enough of the bullcrap, people. I have written enough and you can dislike and rate this entry negatively but you know I make a good point.