It's been almost 2 years since I wrote a blog entry. A lot has happened since then. As you can tell by my videos, I am still actively wrestling, especially with my mentor, my buddy "Ron" (not his real name), Kevinj8664, Rassle4fun,and a couple of new guys that I love rolling with. But many of you know I had a setback when a guy came to learn some wrestling moves in my basement about 18 months ago and proceeded to have a heart attack while there. That night was the worst night of my entire life and almost ended me wrestling forever. But I bounced back, with the help of friends like Pecs44, Twisterman, Rassle4fun, and Average Joe. But I have a main reason for writing this and hopefully everyone reading it will take it to heart.

A couple times in the last couple weeks, 2 very nice guys who are decent wrestlers have either decided to call it quits or came very close to calling it quits, and I known others in the past who have done so for similar reasons that I am about to go into. It seems there are just too many guys here who regardless if they are active or more observers to our sport seem to have no problem toying with the guys here. It seems there are guys who promise to wrestle and meet when they have no intention of doing so. Another reprehensible act is when they start spreading rumors about sincere wrestlers that are not true in the least. I am guessing the reasons for this is that some are getting a "charge" out of just talking to these guys, then when they get their thrill, they move on. Another reason could be because they have expectations from guys that go beyond their boundaries. Other reasons could be just plain rivalry for each others' affections. (that seems to be a problem in the Boston area)

Is there something we all can do? Absolutely! As a man of faith, I believe our Lord's command to "do unto others as you would have them to unto you"...in other words, treat others the way you want to be treated. For those of us who have been hurt by some of these clowns? I have found there are ways to avoid this. If someone expresses interest in wrestling and asks for specific details on what you would do, I always stay general. If they press for more, then I just tell him to schedule a match so I can SHOW him. If the conversation ends, then the guy had no intention of meeting. He just wanted to get off. Another way is if a guy seems to just want to talk about it, don't lead him on thinking you can change his mind about meeting. I have found that if they have no intention of meeting, all the begging and pleading and telling them what they want to hear will NEVER change that. Do each other a favor, tell him you're not interested. There are plenty of guys here who are more into verbal than physical. There's no need to waste each other's time. Also, my final recommendation is that you should do your best to make friends with the guys you actually do wrestle. Quite a few men are not interested in friendship. I've wrestled guys who just come in, don't discuss anything more than wrestling, and after the match, they go home. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm perfectly ok with that. Some guys you can become friends with, others not so much. Make wrestling the priority and friendship a benefit that some will be happy to provide. The others, just enjoy the body contact.

Now regarding those that I have been able to be friends with, I make the most of it. One wrestling bud I text regularly just to say hi and see how things are going. One buddy that I have wrestled many times since I began is an example of how to become and STAY friends. Like myself, he's a man of faith, very active in his church, though our churches and approach to scripture is significantly different. So what to do? I've found that the best way to relate to each other is to avoid the controversial differences and find our common ground, and you know what? It works! We have had many, many encouraging, spiritual conversations even though we may not always agree, there's plenty we do agree on. There's one wrestler, and he knows who he is, I've only wrestled once years ago. The reason we haven't wrestled since was because of some health issues he's had and his moving even further away, but we kept in touch. We text, we talk on the phone, and he's always kidding with me about how "hot" I am. (I think he's kidding, he knows I'm not leaving my wife for anyone else). We're hoping to meet up in the spring at a halfway point. But even if we don't meet, we will remain good friends from a distance. One guy that I do meet up with in hotel rooms when he's traveling is also a very close friend. when we're not rolling around trying to torture each other, we have meals together, we talk about our families, current events, or just joke around. I absolutely LOVE this guy.

One other thing I recommend is when communicating either in person or through messaging, try to avoid controversial topics or anything that might set the other guy off. I actually have to do this with certain non-wresting friends. I'm a registered Republican in a very Democrat part of the country. So guess what? I generally don't discuss politics. One former opponent refuses to have anything to do with me for that reason. oh well, no big loss here. There are guys I that I can't discuss with them too much about other matches. Sometimes I wrestle a guy another friend can't stand. That can get sticky if I say too much. There are a few guys that I have no problem staying with in a hotel room overnight or staying at their house, but others I'm not comfortable with doing that. This can cause significant rifts with some guys knowing that I will do all nighters with some guys but not them.

I could go on, but I will stop here. I guess because I've been wrestling for so long in these circuits, I've acquired a lot of experience and have much to share. If anyone has any questions or insights to this blog, please feel free to message me. Peace out and God bless.

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Last edited on 2/02/2019 8:46 PM by RhodyRaybo
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Comments (8)

MGBDER (11 bronze) 2/02/2019 8:55 PM

This is an amazingly written and much needed reminder about online civility. OK, I'm guilty of stepping over the line on more than one occasion–several guys I like and trust tell me all the time I have a big mouth. I don't start fights but I don't back down either...but maybe retreat or plain old silence is the greater part of valor on certain occasions. I, for one, owe you a debt of gratitude, Rhody,,or your honesty and candor–and for taking the time to write this thoughtful blog. Kudos...

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koorwin (38 platinum) 2/03/2019 8:43 AM

Wonderfully said

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BoyToy Wunderkind (72 ) 2/03/2019 4:28 PM

Even though you’re a Republican, lol, I think you make a lot of excellent points here. The wrestling matches are fun but the friendships forged along the way are priceless. I’ve met some of my closest friends through MF, Global, and Bearhugger—because I can talk candidly to them about topics my other friends wouldn’t understand (ie wrestling, gear, leather, etc).

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BamaJDon41 (1 gold) 2/04/2019 6:34 AM

It would be wishful thinking to expect a guy with whom you're not familiar to behave like anything other than a complete stranger. And in my experience, strangers rarely feel obligated to be courteous, let alone kind (unless you happen to be really hot). And even some you think you've come to know very well can act like a complete stranger. That's life.

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TravelnWrestle (0) 2/05/2019 1:37 AM

Yeah in the UK you definitely do not bring up Brexit lol.

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RhodyRaybo (87 bronze) 2/05/2019 2:04 AM

(In reply to this)

hahaha, that's funny!

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BOXERMAN (29) 2/12/2019 3:41 PM

This is excellent well written and honest.

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pecs44 (56 platinum) 2/22/2019 3:46 PM

Nicely written and insightful as always. This is supposed to be fun --- unconditionally so.

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