Keeping my eyes on the prize. No matter the sacrifice, the reward is always greater. Soon, I will be in a new place, starting over from scratch. An opportunity to begin again and be truly happy. I don't require much. Simple is enough, less is plenty and love is life. I'm always blessed regardless of the circumstances surrounding me.
There are so many enjoyable aspects of life in motion every second within a day. It's hard to experience them when locked away in secluded activity. I find that so many of us are confined to some sort of mechanism that distracts us from reality. Distance is an obstacle that breaks most bonds. Yet, many are seeking relationships from people hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles away from them. This isn't realistic or rational behavior. It's a false sense of reality. It's time to wake up from the dream world that's been created and start living the life I was meant to.
Very disappointed in myself right now. Always thought of myself as somewhat intelligent enough to figure out lies and deception. But apparently I'm not. Apparently, it's easier than I thought for people to play me like a pawn on a chess board. I think that it's my fault, i assume innocence, take people at their word and look for the best in everyone. I accept responsibility for it. However, I don't believe it excuses the behavior of the preditorial individuals I've encoutered. There really is no excuse for someone to try and manipulate the daily course of someone else's life. As a society, we pay more attention to media that shows us horrible destruction daily. We often ignore the daily mental warfare we face when encountering infidels focused on altering the course of one's life though deceit, manipulation and pretentious behavior. This is what impacts us most of all. It impacts our senses, disturbs our thinking pattern, promotes confusion and disorientation. In turn, changes the course of our decision making process and impacts our behavior. I think that those individuals of religious orders who have retreated to remote locations to practice solitude have cracked the code. They are separated from society, bound by practice and order. They don't encounter society on a daily basis and therefore limit the abuse that's inflicted in our everyday culture. Simply put, there are no mind games to be played. No battling for position. Everyone partakes of the same meal, living quarters and are accountable the their order. We live in a hamster wheel, running nowhere. Running a race never to be won. Fighting the never ending war against humanity that was started and maintained by its own people. For me it's time for seclusion. Can be easily achieved. I've always tried to give humanity a chance. I think now the time where humanity actually existed has long past. Nothing is sacred or pure in this world anymore. Signing off.
I swear if it isn't one thing it's another. I'm confused as to how people assume that they have a right to control someone. Especially when it pertains to their time, effort and money. That's beyond rude. I'm done. I think a move to the other side of the country will suit me well. Furiously pissed off.
What a clusterfuk!