Take the test. What kind of fighter are you?
Question 1. The day of the fight arrives. He's mesmerisingly handsome and built like a pro. What is your first reaction:
A. Yeah but I have three black belts so I'm going to own him and mess that face up.
B. Hubba hubba.
C. Fuck, I'm doomed.
Question 2. Do you have a training plan?
A. Yes. High Intensity Interval training twice a week, techique training three times a week, weight training, swimming, long distance running, yoga every morning, self-flagellation, cold showers and a diet of nuts and yak's curd.
B. I'm being measured for a pro style leotard with extra low cut chest and shorter legs. In shimmering black and gold spandex. Oh and some baby oil... does this make me look fat???
C. I plan to train. I just plan not to train today. Or tomorrow....
Question 3. He has you in a painful headlock. What do you do?
A. Shift my centre of gravity by means of a few changes in the position of my feet, double reverse twist and roll away to the side so that I can use the momentum for an effective take down.
B. My god he looks hot from here..ouch...! I do like that manly smell...ouch!!..just a few seconds more...
C. Tap...TAP TAP!!! He hit me! Fuck... :(
Question 4. The match is over. What is the first thing you do?
A. Shake hands and make notes of your technical failings so that you can add them to your training plan.
B. That's between me and him unless it's a threesome. Is a threesome OK? Hello ;)
C. Pub!! Of course. What are you insane??!
Question 5. What part does fighting have in your life?
A. My life is like a Shaolin temple. I am my fight and my fight is me.
B. Hmm. Muscle, spandex, sweat, a little pain, lots of heavy breathing and a bit of gentlemen time in that delicious post match buzz. But my partner doesn't know about that... <g>
C. None at all but I like making friends and looking at pictures.
Question 6. What is your most abiding memory of fighting?
A. Delivering a KO in round 1 to a black belt with a quick double cross, left hook and uppercut
B. Oil wrestling a really hot stud who I had been lusting after for years and who didn't disappoint when he was visiting my city.
C. I miss WoS.
Question 7. And finally....
A. Wanna fight?
B. Wanna fuck?
C. Wanna beer?
How you scored:
Mostly A. I am fairly sure you iron your speedos too. You need to get out more.
Mostly B. I am fairly sure you can remove another man's speedos faster than you can throw a jab.You need to go to the clinic.
Mostly Cs. It's your round. You need to go to the bar. Can I have some yak's curd with my beer please?